Saturday, June 14, 2003

this is it: the final push to get out of the dorms, the flurry of goodbyes and 'have a good summer' and hugs and 'we'll see you again in the fall' and knowing that now that i'm no longer in housing, and they're no longer in housing, the odds are against our ever being this way again. and today, the seniors and the graduating juniors are walking through Hull Gate to the Harper Quad dressed in their robes and their caps to receive their hard-earned and well-deserved A.Bs. it's sad because i've grown accustomed to their faces, to misquote Henry Higgins, i've grown used to knowing they are here and seeing them around, greeting them on the quads, talking to them late in the night/early in the morning, going to dinners and parties and just hanging out with them. because in a strange way, we have become connected by virtue of our race - language religion - nationality - beliefs, by bonds of friendship and duty and work. and now they will be gone, dissolving once more into the mass of humanity, and perhaps we will meet once or twice more in our lives, but never again will it be like this. and soon they will be gone.

i'm being sentimental now. there is a sense of loss, and a subtle unhappiness settling into me. there always is, at the end of something this beautiful. i've loved being here this year -- learning to live a little more, learning to love a little better, learning to deal with the loss of love with a little more strength and clarity. learning what kind of person i am and what kind of person i need to be.

time to leave.


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