Thursday, July 10, 2003

you know, human relationships are really much more complicated than they need to be? i really wish that somehow, everyone could magically meet the person that he/she is supposed to be with, and never be parted from that moment on. honestly. that would save us so much trouble, and pain, and conflict, and self-torture, and self-flagellation, and all that kind of nasty, masochistic stuff that i like to save for my intellectual torment. but life doesn't work that way, i guess, because people don't like their lives to be easy, whatever they may say.

who knows what persuades us that we have fallen in love with another human being, and what makes us stay, against all common sense, all logic, despite the fact that our friends keep telling us that we are completely insane and that 'she is a FLAKE, get the HELL away from her! and STAY the hell away from her!' -- because we are too bull-headedly stubborn to accept that somethings aren't meant to be, some people aren't what you think they are, some people become someone or something they're not because of circumstances outside of your control. who knows what makes people make self-delusional statements that fly in the face of all logic, all emotional sense, because they are unwilling to accept the implications of actions which they must take? who knows what makes people take the self-destructive decisions to stick to their guns, and push one another beyond the bounds of endurance because one of you wants so badly to make it work, and the other wants so badly to not hurt his/her partner? it's not easy to make decisions to leave face to face: all you can remember at the time is that this is the person you've thought you've loved, that you HAVE loved the last heaven only knows how long, and this is the person who made you happy and safe, once. but ultimately the decision has still got to be made.

what makes another person uniquely suited to be the one person in your life who will always make you happy, always keep you safe, always bring your life joy and fulfillment and maybe pain and sorrow, but pain and sorrow that you're willing and able to bear?


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