Thursday, August 14, 2003

was reminded that my blog has not been updated for days. i've been thinking about updating, of course, but i don't really have anything interesting to say. work continues as it always has: rapid moments of frenzied swearing at a recalcitrant, stubbornly malfunctioning Excel, emailing the finished product to boss, then hours of sitting at the computer surfing, or perhaps helping stuff envelopes full of invitations to a conference the boss is organising. much more interesting things are happening in the lives of my friends at home -evan: hang in there, it sounds like law is boring but you will start to kick ass soon; adr: i cannot believe your roommate is a navy officer, how cool is that -grins-

i think life has settled into a sort of domestic rhythm for me here in hyde park: i wake up, i putter around the house, i leave for work -- i come home and cook dinner, and watch some tv, and generally hang around the house until bedtime. honestly, i'm starting to enjoy the solitude, the living alone, the independence. it can get sort of lonely, but i'm not really bothered by it -- though of course considering the amount of time i have spent on the phone lately, i really haven't been nearly as lonely as i was when i first arrived here. and there are tons of people here in hyde park -- just yesterday on my way to lindy class, a car zoomed by with three occupants waving madly, and the one in the backseat blowing kisses: dave and kai and paul were on their way to dinner on 57th street, probably to Noodles. it was amusing; i'm sure the random passersby enjoyed the spectacle of girl-on-sidewalk-blowing-kisses-to-passing-car. and on top of the quiet nights at home there's dancing, and dinners with friends, and just plain hanging out. and reading. =) it's nice to be reading for the sake of reading instead of reading for class, you know?

was talking to alvin last night -hey alvin!- and was reminded: did it ever occur to you tt the decade between 10 and 20 feels like so long, and the decade between 20 and 30 much shorter? maybe it's because we are changing so much between ten and twenty years of age, from a brainless, unconscious child to a reasonably sensible human being; or maybe it's because at twenty years old you possess the ability to look into the future and plan and see what you would like your life to be -- and at twenty there is so MUCH you want to do with your life and so little time as a free agent -an independent, single human being -- someone with few permanent responsibilities and ties --to do them in. how on earth am i going to be able to fit another two years of undergraduate education, six years of work, two years of graduate school, marriage and a first child into the next ten years of my life? if someone can find a way to extend time, i think perhaps that might help; failing that, i think i might just have to throw my hands in the air and surrender to the inevitable: i can't do everything i want to do, i can't have everything i want to have. there just isn't enough time or space in a life for all these things. and i think that i'm slowly going from the woman-who-wants-everything to the -woman who is willing to accept that she isn't going to get everything, but doesn't care as long as she gets what's most important right- stage. perhaps. =)

in the meantime, it is almost time to knock off for the day; West Wing is on tonight; and tomorrow is thursday -- one day closer to the weekend. and perhaps the possession of a suede-and-denim Coach bag. who know. so there ARE simple things to be happy about in life! -contemplates new shoes- it's easy to make me happy, isn't it? -grins-


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