Friday, August 15, 2003

you know how there are some weeks where nothing at all out of the ordinary happens, and then everything happens at once? i've just had a DAY like that. an epiphanic day, if you will. for various reasons --

*
sliding ard from blog to blog this morning, i took an abrupt turn at josh's blog in a direction i'd never taken before, and found -- a whole bunch of people that i'd thought were lost to the ether forever. not people i was particularly close to in primary school or secondary school or junior college, but people that once upon a time i had met, and connected with, and had precious honest phone conversations with, and spent time with. however short and perhaps ultimately meaningless the times we spent were, in the end, the fact that we had once brushed past each others' lives means something to me. it's nice to read your blogs, and think to myself -- oh, so this is where you are, this is who you are now, this is what you do now. it's nice to -at a distance, at least- touch your lives one more time. to be startled into memory -- the long-forgotten shared nights, the tiny touch of a phone call, the serendipitous glimpse in a movie theatre, the random passing in the night of two people who are --not quite strangers, but no longer friends.

and i discover connections between us that i had no earthly idea existed. how strange and tiny and insulated our little island, and how small our social circles -incestuous- -isolated- that we run around and around and can never get away from the people with whom we grew up. and finally, at the age of twentyone -how old a twentyone- i think most of us have given up running, and accepted that yes, these are the people i will run around with the rest of my life/and yes. i do, ultimately, in the secret bottom of my heart, know you, and understand you.

i'm not sure if you remember me, and i'm not sure if one day you will slide by this page and go 'oh jeanette, i know her --' as a faint shadow on the edges of an old childhood memory: but if you do -- and if you want to swing by now and then, and say hello - i would love to get to know you again.

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