Sunday, October 30, 2005

nothing at all


it's amazing that you can speak right to my heart
without saying a word, you can light up the dark
try as i may i could never explain
what i hear when you don't say a thing

the smile on your face lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
the touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever i fall
you say it best
when you say nothing at all

all day i long i can hear people talking about
but when you hold me near you drown out the crowd
old mr webster could never define
what's being said between your heart and mine

the smile on your face lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
the touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever i fall
you say it best
when you say nothing at all

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

sing a song of sixpence

the more time goes by, the less strongly i feel the yearning to be part of a choir again. tonight, i went to a concert put up by the philharmonic chamber choir (of which my senior, evan, is a member. not to mention our very special Eekia.) and -- while there were definitely moments when i thought to myself -there, that's what's missing from my life: the breathing in total accord; the wall of sound; the blend and mix of voices and parts and people to create a single voice out of 35 individual ones. i miss those perfect moments, and the small but heartfelt nod of appreciation and thanks that Mr Toh used to hand out when we'd performed well. but less and less do i want to put in the hours, and the caring and the effort and the hard hard work training this voice of mine back into some sort of reasonable shape. so i languish, singing songs in my car and at my desk and at home, and make do.

speaking of making do - here's yet another place i wish i could be, right here and now --

Sweet Home Chicago!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

i aten't dead

hmm -- i seem to have to say that more and more these days, online anyway. =p yes, work is taking over my life, but i ain't dead yet. managing to have pretty cool and fun Girls' Nites Out every friday night (though this week we are down to TWO -boooo to the other girls, though in their defence, they're off having exciting lives too) and hanging out with grandpa on weekends is also fun. (plus last weekend i got to take a NAP. for four hours.)

just to leave all with some fodder for thought:

a. the best nominee Bushie could come up with to fill a spot on the Supreme Court -his LEGACY, for crying out loud- is his White House Counsel and ex-personal lawyer, whose highest qualification is her loyalty to him?

b. my government thinks that it's a good idea for people who have been arrested not to have access to legal counsel until the police have finished their investigation, because then the defence counsel might compromise the investigation. it's nice to know that personal rights and liberties are taken so seriously, isn't it?

back to daydreaming about vacations in the Bahamas (getting a Real Tan) now...:)

OH! and the countdown begins -- Game One of the 2005 World Series (the Fall Classic) begins on Saturday at 7.30pm CST -- Houston Astros at the Chicago White Sox. They've prepped The Cell and everyone's raring to go -- oh, i miss my city.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

a roundup of daily events

my first paycheck comes on monday. (of course, by that i mean -- the Civil Service will electronically transfer my first paycheck into my bank account on monday, minus CPF, minus the parking fee, minus what i'm giving to SHARE...erm...any more minuses and i'll have to pay them!) so it's a good time to quickly blog about what work's been like so far, no?

i'm really enjoying it so far. i may bitch and whine and complain but ultimately, i like it. the adrenaline rush is crazy - i crash every single night, just come home, eat shower and then fall asleep- that might be the only part i really dislike. but there's real thrill in just going at it all day, moving things, answering people's questions - during the day there's rarely an entire half hour focused solely on one thing. i've always got part of my mind thinking about the next problem, or half an ear listening out for my desk phone. (the dreaded "jeanette, can you come in please." always makes me think "oh shit what did i submit recently are there stupid typos ahhh my staffwork sucks" in the two seconds before "yes, ok. -click-".) after about five, that's when i can focus, finally, on doing the things that don't get done during the day -- the things that are less urgent, the things that i've procrastinated on. two important things i've gathered in my first month of work: (1) always always take paper and a writing implement into your boss's office; and (2) make lists of EVERYTHING. what you need to do now. what you need to do tomorrow. what you need to have someone else do now. and so on ad infinitum. because there's only so many things your brain can manage at once, and most of it is occupied with "oh shit what did i submit recently are there typos" kind of thoughts. :)

[i interrupt this broadcast to add: WHITE SOX WIN!!!!! they've swept the BoSox!!!! They're going to the ACLS!!!! ok, you all know i'm a Cubs fan, but i'm also a Chicagoan (of sorts). i just want a chicago sports team to win sometimes...]

the other thing i've learned is that while my driving is improving, my knowledge of Singapore roads is not. that's because all i ever do is drive from my place to work and back again, and it's not really vitally important to know how to get from here to the northwest of Singapore, because seriously, everything between here and work is...let's call it underdeveloped, instead of "the freakin' wilderness". (however, there's a great part of the drive: there's a little road -Mandai Road- the end of it, that starts from near Transit Road, and it's a single lane road that winds its way through the middle of the nature reserve, alongside Seletar Reservoir. it's an incredibly pretty view in the mornings, tranquil and green. if there's no one else on the road behind me, i slow down and watch the reservoir go by until i'm once more surrounded by trees -- and then HUGE ASS TRUCKS on the rest of Mandai Road into Upper Bukit Timah.) i know this because yesterday i went over to Shum's after work (i knocked off while there was still daylight! my colleagues and i were joking abt how we were afraid to go outside because of this alien concept of sunlight) to play xbox games and then go to dinner with the other girls. but i didn't know how to get to her place from the office! i wandered into my branch head's office and asked to borrow his street directory. "can I borrow your street directory real quick please? I need to know how to get to Sixth Avenue." i said, sheepishly. he looked at me like i was really really strange and said "you know how to get to MFA, right? it's on the way lah!" but i didn't know that! -grin- and then Shum had to direct me from her place to Raffles City, which involved a lot of me going "i don't know where the fuck we are -mad laughter-" and "is it a left turn or a right turn?" until we emerged near High Street and i was like Oh! i know now, this is how i go to church!

so, all in all, i'm having a good time at the office. sure, there are times when i want to kill myself, but i've not quite reached the stage when i wake up in the morning and think 'man, i REALLY don't want to go to work'. which i think is a good thing. so far. :) wish me luck with the next month!